Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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