i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
