So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize