i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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