i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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