Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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