I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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