plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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