I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
