Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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