I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
