you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
PANTIES FOUND
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