I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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