You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize