I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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