I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
they need to just BURY HIM!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
