i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
