It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
