You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wear drunk well.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
