Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
