He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
