He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
