at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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