Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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