I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize