East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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