I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
