It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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