So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
