he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
