I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
