my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
