guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
