we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
