i barfeds in our rink
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
