it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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