So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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