I'm really into asian looking animals
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
