I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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