I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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