on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
