Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
