Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize