corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
