Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
