They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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