All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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