my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
being pregnant is like rehab
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
