you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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