would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
