So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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