Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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