all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
