Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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