Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sorry my hands just texted you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
40s are totally the cure
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
