gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize