Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
