just tell him i said nine months
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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