I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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