i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize