good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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