Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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